Weird Science: Fanfiction
Season 6, Episode 13:
"Forged Relations (Part 2 of 2)"
John Mallory Ashers voice-over: "Last week on Weird Science,"
Fast Weird Science music is playing, like at the end of the episode 'Strange Daze', while the following recap is shown.
Chett: (Looks up at Scampi) I just got upstaged in front of the school by Dr. Schiller.
Scampi: You mean (looks shocked) Dr. Willard?!
Chett: The school board is meeting tomorrow for a command decision. Theyre sure to give me the boot.
Scampi: Fortunately for you, I had the foresight to write an extensive recommendation letter for the job.
Chett: (holds up the recommendation papers) you forgot to sign the stupid thing!!
Scampi: Simply forge my signature! Heh-heh, (with a naïve smile) how hard can that be?
Scampi: (Outraged) There is no T in Scampi!! (Regains his composure) Oh its no use. It appears Im the only one who can sign my name like that.
Chett: (Almost hysterical) Lisa, Lisa! Youve gotta help me forge Scampis signature! Dr. Schiller
Lisa: Slow down, Beagle-Boy! (Zaps a muzzle around Chetts face)
Lisa: A ghosts signature? (To Gary and Wyatt) Strap on your seat belts, boys; thisll be a doozy!
Lisa zaps Gary, Wyatt, and herself into Ghostbusters costumes and equipment.
Gary: This backpack weighs like a (huffs) ton of bricks. (Releases the harness, dropping the backpack behind the couch with a heavy thud)
Chett: Are you nuts? Youre supposed to help a ghost not kill him!
Lisa: Say hello to the Phantom Glove (To Chett) First you put it on your left hand (Then to Scampi) Go ahead, stick your ghostly hand in.
Gary: (Teasing with a smile) Holding hands in the principals office?
Scampi: Chester, hand me a pen! (Signs the recommendation letter) Hahahahh!! Take a look at that!
Chett: I want my hand back!(Tugs on glove) Mine!
Scampi: (Tugs on glove) Chester!
Chett: Asta LaVista, Scampi! (Switches the Spectre setting all the way)
Lisa: (Yells) Chett, you bone-head! You just set it to maximum tolerance!
The glove engulphs both men in blue electricity as they start to vibrate. The Phantom glove lets off a blinding flash and Chett is left standing alone.
Gary: What happened to Scampi?
Chett: (In a sophisticated manner) It appears, Miss Lisa, that your Phantom Glove was successful after all. (Looks at his arms and legs) Evidently, total absorption has been attained.
Wyatt: (Worried) Guardian Scampi, is that you in there?!!
Chett: (Confidently) Thats PRINCIPAL Scampi, now!
Fast music ends and recap fades out to black.
"You make man…"
Gary and Wyatt look at each other as the Weird Science song starts, showing the following scenes (note- 'S6!' means a new scene from season 6):
-The keyboard 'Enter' button is pressed
-Weird Science logo
-Lightning strikes the house
-View of Lisa, moving up
-Gary and Wyatt travel through the dream gate
-Bazooka boys forming
-Gary's poet within is zapped out right next to him
-With Lisa, Gary, and Wyatt in the background, Chett does the disco dance of innocence and his arm flies off
-Lisa blows magic kiss to Wyatt
Michael Manasseri clips
-Old West Wyatt gets pulled through the time warp
-(S6!) Falls down into an island lagoon
-Turns into nightmare id monster
-Head gets pulled off
-(S6!) In pajamas, with wet hair, gets zapped by Lisa into day clothes and dry hair
John Mallory Asher clips
-(S6!) Swings a frustrated fist in a black and white scene
-(S6!) About to bite an apple as it gets zapped into a remote control
-Lisa's finger touches his head, zapping him a super large brain
-Beams down inside Farber High with Tetrahydrozaline
Lee Tergeson clips
-Playing the piano on Groundhog Day
-Buccaneer hat placed on his head zaps him into the Pirate King
-Fighting Principal Scampi as the room flashes with yellow electricity
-(S6!) As suited Principal, gets face slapped
-Jumps down from ceiling as secret agent wearing black outfit
Vanessa Angel clips
-(S6!) Wearing a Scooby Doo T-shirt on a tropical island, zaps up a compass in her hand
-Carefully enters a dark cave, carrying a 'light saber' glowing stick
-Tiger on grave morphs into Lisa wearing a tiger-print dress
-Wearing glasses and suit disguised as a school teacher
-Large grinning close-up
- Gary and Wyatt in tuxedoes rocket up wearing jetpacks - Lisa, Gary, Wyatt, and Chett are all wearing earphones, singing around a microphone - (S6!) Lisa with her arms around Gary and Wyatt, zaps them and all 3 disappear - Black & white Dr. Frankenstein "She's alive! Alive!"
Scene opens to the Farber High principals office. Lisa, Gary, and Wyatt are still staring at Chett in disbelief.
Wyatt: (Concerned) Let me get this straight, Guardian, um Principal Scampi
FORGED RELATIONS (PART 2)
Chett: (In Scampis manner) In the flesh! (Looks down at his arms) Or should I say, in Chesters flesh.
Wyatt: (To Lisa) Our dead former principal now occupies my brothers body? What have you done?
Meesum Abidi (J.L.)
Lisa: (Defensive) Dont look at me, I only merged their hands. Chetts the one who yanked him in all the way! (Reassuring) Dont worry, Wyatt, this is Scampi were talking about; you know, the responsible. Hell leave Chetts human frame before you can count to 12 in French.
Chett: (In Scampis manner) Non, non, Mademoiselle Lisa; the plan has now changed.
Gary: (To Lisa) Thats French for the plan has changed. (Turns to Wyatt. Smiles) Dont ya think my French has improved?!
Chett: (In Scampis manner) Thats debatable, Mr. Wallace, but you must all understand. The recommendation letters may not be enough; surely Chester will be summoned for a gruelling interview. I think he stands a much better chance of keeping his position as principal, if I am at the helm.
Lisa: Chetts body and voice, but with Scampis brain? (Turns to Wyatt) Im afraid I cant argue against that combination.
Wyatt: Yeah, it kinda does make sense. Anyway its getting late, we should go home.
Chett: (In Scampis manner) I guess Im coming with you, then? (looks at Wyatt and Lisa)
Wyatt nods and Lisa zaps them all home.
Cut to an early morning outside shot of the Donnelly residence. Inside, Wyatt comes down to the kitchen.
Wyatt: Morning, Principal (sees that Chett has prepared a full breakfast for the house) Scampi?
Lisa zaps in.
Lisa: (Sniffs the air and smiles) Oh, yum! (Takes a deep breath) Lisa smells pancakes!
Chett: (In Scampis manner) Smell that wonderful aroma, my fellow housemates! You know, since my passing, I had almost forgotten how good food tasted!
Lisa: That really smells good! (Looks at Wyatt) Im afraid your human nose just wont do justice for this aroma. (Raises her hand and zaps Wyatts nose into a Hound dogs snout)
Wyatt: Hey! (With an angry look on his dog-nosed face) Whats the big idea mak (sniffs the air. Smiles) Oh, that does smell good!
Chett: (To Lisa and Wyatt, in Scampis manner) Dig in! (Gets up from the table) Now, if youll excuse me Id best be on my way to an overdue showdown with my old schoolboard nemesis. (With an evil look) For all those years of opposing me, Dr. Willard, revenge will be mine!
Lisa and Wyatt: (Quickly turn to each other with concern) Huh?
The screen fades out for the episode's first break.
The screen fades into the hallway in an unknown building, and zooms on 2 large doors with Main Conference Hall written above. Lisa zaps in around the corner, dressed as a teacher with glasses, and walks up to the doors, approaching a guard in his mid 40s.
Lisa: (To guard) Has the meeting started?
Guard: Everyone just arrived 5 minutes ago. (Stops Lisa) But you cant go in without a pass.
Suddenly, the guards glasses buzz with blue electricity for a second. The camera shot switches to an eye-view through the glasses, and Dr. Willard is seen instead of Lisa.
Lisa: (With a mans voice) You were saying?!
Guard: (Nervous) S sorry, Dr. Willard! My eyes must be playing tricks on me! Do go in, sir!
Lisa walks through the doors, leaving the guard to himself.
Guard: (Looks sneakily around) Alone at last!
He takes out a copy of Teen Magazine, with the headline In Depth Interview with Jennifer Love Hewitt!. He opens it up to a double-page picture of Jennifer Love Hewitt, but the camera shot through his glasses gives the appearance of Dr. Willard in a royal-blue evening dress.
Inside the full conference room, Lisa recognizes a young brunette with short hair, whos also wearing a teachers outfit, and takes a seat right beside her. Although her eyes seem unusually close together and nose unusually small, she still looks very pretty. They both hear the guard scream from outside.
Tetra: (To Lisa) Was that the guard who was sneaking peeks of Teen Magazine?
Lisa: (Glances toward the doors and chuckles) Yup, I hankered his glasses prescription. Thatll teach the perv!
Tetra: How come youre late? You told me to meet you here 5 minutes ago.
Lisa: Sorry. Pancake incident. (Licks some syrop on the side of her mouth.)
Tetra: (Smiles wide) Say no more. Ive found these american humans value 2 women more than anyone; The Statue of Liberty and Aunt Jemimah.
The meeting starts, with Chett sitting in the front row, in front of the head table with the school board executive committee.
Dr. Willard: Principal Donnelly, what are these rumours about some benefactor of yours?
Chett: (In Scampis manner. Stands up) Oh, not just any ordinary benefactor, Dr. Willard. (Holds up the papers) I hold here letters of high recommendation for me as principal of Farber High, signed by none other than the late, legendary, educational hero of our district: Principal Scampi.
Everyone starts whispering in awe. Everyone except the chairman of the board, Dr. Willard.
Dr. Willard: That.. (sneers), that doesnt impress me. Scampi was a second-rate educator! And youre even less competent than him, everybody knows that!
Chett: (In Scampis manner.) Well you know what I know? I know the truth about the school boards financial records that youre in charge of, and how you really edged Clive R.Scampi from his rightful spot on the executive committee. You know how (pauses) guardian angels have truth-sensory powers and the like? Well I have, ahem, similar talents; call it a sixth sense.
Dr. Willard: (Nervous) Surely you jest! You have no sense of the truth, Mr. Donnelly, (stands up) and you certainly dont have any evidence of foul play from my office!
Chett: (In Scampis manner. Remains calm, walks up to the table, and looks Dr. Willard straight in the eyes) Try me.
Tetra cringes in fear, as do many of the teachers in the room.
Tetra: (Leans over to Lisa and whispers scared) This may get ugly!
Lisa: (Whispers, also scared) Dont worry! (A zap is heard under the chair as Lisa reaches beneath and brings up an umbrella) I came prepared! (Opens umbrella and covers herself and Tetra)
Cut to the Donnelly residence, later that afternoon. Gary and Wyatt are sitting with Lisa and Tetra, who is back in her alien form.
Lisa: (Recapping with enthusiasm) You should have seen Chett, I mean Scampi. He was unstoppable; like a runaway train! He really put Dr. Willard in his place!
Wyatt: (Anxious) So what happened, then? Does Chett keep his principal job?!
Lisa: Im (hesitates) not sure. We kinda had to leave early, to catch the afternoon television shows.
Wyatt: (Outraged) What?!
Tetra: (Supportive) A woman does have to watch her Oprah.
Gary: (Turns to Tetra, surprised) Honey, you too?
Tetra: Yes dear. In fact, I must hurry home for that Ernest festival on TV, so Ill see you at home. (Turns to Lisa) Lisa, be a pal, please?
Lisa smiles, and zaps Tetra back to the Wallaces. Just then, Chett walks in the door, still wearing the Phantom Glove.
Wyatt: So how did it go, er.., Principal Scampi?
Chett: (In Scampis manner. Smiles) Like my Great-grandfathers lucky charm! Dr. Willard was voted off the schoolboard, and I keep my job. (Glib) In fact, your probably looking at the next public eduacator to be voted to fill his shoes.
Gary: Chett being Chairman of the board? Hell never pull that off.
Chett: (In Scampis manner) Right as unusual, Mr. Wallace. Thats why Ive decided to stay in this body (serious) permanently!
Wyatt: (Outraged) What?! You cant do that! What about the deal? What about my brother?
Chett: (In Scampis manner) Deals are meant to be modified, son. Im sure Chett will appreciate all the free credit hell be getting with me in control.
Wyatt: Thats not fair! (To Lisa) Lisa, get Scampi, out!
Lisa: (To Chett) Wyatts right, youve bullied Chetts frame around too long! (Raises her zap-hands) If you dont get out, Ill force you out! (Releases blue genie magic bolts on Chett, with no results)
Chett: (In Scampis manner) You really havent mastered your magic on super-naturals, have you?
Gary: (To Lisa and Wyatt) Somehow I never pictured Scampi as the soul-stealing type. Thats more Chetts style.
Lisa: Of course, Gary, youre right! Scampi didnt erase Chett, he merged with him! And in the process inherited Chetts greed in a big way, resulting in a deadly combination! He may be unable to control himself. (Zaps a cage around Chett)
Chett: (In Scampis manner. Notices his clothes have been zapped into a prison outfit) Hey! Let me out! Get me my lawyer! Dont I even get a phone call?
Wyatt: If youre right, Lisa, then part of Chett must still be there! (Approaches the cage. Speaks loud to Chett) Chett, are you in there! Youve gotta make Scampi see reason! Take back control!
Chett: (In Scampis manner) Pipe down, Mr. Donnelly, Im not deaf! (Rubs his ears) But youre right. (Sincere) I do see reason, now. Ill leave Chetts body.
Chett sits down in the cage and adjusts the spectre setting. Everyone looks on as Chett closes his eyes and remains motionless. Suddenly, he shakes back into motion.
Chett: (Acting like his old self.) Wha what happened? (Looks around, surprised) Why am I in a cage?
Lisa: Oh, allow me! (Zaps the cage away)
Chett: (Still sitting. Notices his clothes) Prison jammies? (To Lisa) Seems like your style. (Reaches to her with his bare hand) Now help me up!
Lisa reaches her hand to him, as he suddenly grabs it with his other gloved hand. Lisa looks at Chett with a look of horror on her face, as her hand starts glowing.
Chett: (In Scampis manner. With an evil look) Acting 101 class has paid off, Miss Lisa. (Glib) I had actually adjusted the glove for maximum tolerance.
Lisa: Noooooo! (Glows for a second then gets absorbed into Chetts body)
Chett: (In Scampis manner. Stands up and reviews himself) Something feels anew here. Could it be (gets a smile) genie magic? (His prison clothes suddenly zap into a black tuxedo)
The boys are speechless as they stand still and look on.
Chett: (In Scampis manner. With a wide grin) This is indeed a turn of events to celebrate, heh-heh! (Zaps ice-cream jugs into their hands) Have fun boys, (shouts out) Im out of here!!! (Zaps out of the scene while laughing) Hahahahaha .
The screen fades out for the episode's second break.
The screen fades into Gary and Wyatt looking shocked, each holding hand-sized ice-cream containers.
Gary: (Hysterical) Scampi stole our genie! Scampi stole our genie!
Wyatt: (Still scared) Dont dont panic, Gary, itll only make your hair even poofier.
Gary immediately calms down and touches his hair.
Wyatt: Look, Scampi may have Lisas powers, but she isnt erased. Im sure shell find some way to influence him through her magic. Shes got to.
Gary: Im afraid not. Did you check out the flavor of this ice-cream? (Holds up container) Vanilla, not Chunky Monkey! No hint of chocolate anywhere!! Definitely not Lisas style! Look at this, (Reads ingredients) Milk Solids, Sugar, Glucose-Fructose, Im Working On A Plan: Lisa, Artificial Vanilla, Soy Lecithin. (Turns to Wyatt) See? (Does a double-take at the ingredients)
Wyatt: (Hopeful) The ingredients! Lisa found a way to get us a sign! (Holds up his container) Lets see what mine says. (Reads ingredients) Milk, Fructose, yada-yada here it is. Meet Back Half Hour For Details. (Looks back to Gary)
Gary: I guess Lisa will have finalized some plan by then.
Wyatt: Which means well have to go to Scampi, AND figure a way to trick him into zapping us some more ingredients.
Gary: (Heads to the door) Im with you. (Stops) Actually, can I grab a spoon for the way there? (Holds up ice-cream) Reading these ingredients has given me a craving.
Cut to Farbers Principal office. Chett seems to be zapping up framed portraits of Scampi then zapping them onto the wall.
Chett: (In Scampis manner) Thats better. The day is so much brighter when you see ME! Oh, life is sweet!
Gary and Wyatt walk in through the door.
Wyatt: Okay, Scamps! Youve had your fun, now its time to give us back my brother and our genie! (Sees Chett unimpressed) Pretty please?
Chett: (In Scampis manner) Mr. Donnelly, I suggest you start thinking of me as your brother (turns to Gary) and your genie!
Gary: Oh yeah? Well, well Lisa was 10 times the genie you are! She could really (thinks for a second) zap up a mean Snickers bar. (Looks at Wyatt nervously, then back to Chett) Lets see you try to match her, I dare you!
Chett: (In Scampis manner) Boys, Im not going to zap you up any chocolate bars.
Gary and Wyatt look at each other disappointed.
Chett: (In Scampis manner) Now, roasted almonds! (Looks excited) Thats my specialty! (Zaps a small sack of hickory-flavored almonds in Garys hand)
Gary: (Opens sack and tastes a few) Not bad. Guess I was wrong about you, Genie Scampi. (Heads to the door) Oh well, gotta go!
Chett: (In Scampis manner) Not so fast, my elusive young guests! (Motions to his paintings on the wall) You havent told me what you think of my new decor!
Wyatt: I, um, like it. Its really you!
Scampi smiles in approval. Suddenly Gary and Wyatt run out the door. Cut to a scene of them still running down the hallway. Cut to them run out of Farber High and down the steps. Cut to them finally stop on the grass and catch their breath.
Wyatt: Okay Gary, (huffs) what does the bag say?
Gary: (Quickly reads through the ingredients) Trap Scampi Out: Ghostbusters Residue (Looks at Wyatt) Huh?
Wyatt: Residue means something thats left over, usually after a cleanup. She must be telling us theres something we can use from that original Ghostbusters solution of hers, yesterday. (Thinks for a second, then shakes his head) Im getting a blank, I cant think of what she means. Either that (rubs his stomach) or that extra-heavy ice-cream that Scampi zapped up is messing with me.
Gary: Heavy? (Snaps his fingers and smiles) I got it!
Cut to Gary and Wyatt outside Wyatts front door.
Wyatt: I dont get it. (Opens door) Lisa zapped away our Ghostbusters uniforms and all the equipment attached.
Gary: (Enters house) But not before I dropped that super-heavy backpack behind the couch. (Runs into the living room and looks behind the couch) Here it is!
Wyatt: This is fantastic! Open it up!
Gary: (Reaches in and takes out a red brick) Bricks! (Outraged) It really was full of bricks all along!! Oh, when I get my hands on that Lisa
Wyatt: Wait, whats that shiny one? (Reaches into bag and takes out a fancy rectangular gadget attached to a long cord) Hey, (Smiles at Gary) I remember this from the movie
Cut to Chett in the Principals office. The phone rings and Chett zaps the reciever into his hand.
Chett: (In Scampis manner) Principal Chester Donnelly Scampi, here.
Telephone: (Wyatts voice) Were gonna tell Dr.Willard everything and tarnish your reputation for good, Scampi. Lisas magic wont help you then. (Hangs up)
Chett: (In Scampis manner) Oh, Im not falling for that trick! (Puts phone down) My nerves of steel can out-do your petty bluff, anyday. (Looks at the clock, sits down, and starts whistling to the tune of Nik-Nak-Patty-Wack. Looks at the clock again and becomes nervous) Oh its no use! (Gets up impatiently) The suspense is killing me! Alright boys, Ill play your game! (Zaps out of the office)
The screen fades out for the episode's third break.
The screen fades into the Donnelly residence, where Gary and Wyatt seem to be adjusting the floor rug. Chett zaps into the room and gets their attention.
Chett: (In Scampis manner. Peeved) Okay, boys, the gloves are off! (Holds up his gloved hand) Well, except for this one, heh-heh! (Back to Gary and Wyatt) You boys have given me enough trouble over the years! Time to put you 2 in what I like to call, (adjusts the spectre setting on the Phantom Glove, then reaches in their direction) Permanent Detention.
Wyatt: Not so fast, Scampi! (Kicks away the rug to reveal a floor panel attached to a cord) This foot activator is attached to that metal Ghostbusters box beside you (motions to the floor near Chetts feet), which, you would know if youve seen the movie, is a Supernatural Containment Unit.
Chett: (In Scampis manner) Oh, when will you end this charade? I still have my guardian truth-sensing powers which tell me (gets nervous) youre telling (gulps) the truth! (Gets scared and lowers his gloved-hand) Y you wouldnt want to activate that thing. (Starts shaking) It might kill a supernatural like me!!
Gary: Wyatt may not do it, but I would. (Serious) I know what its like to be trapped inside Chetts body; your powers can confirm that truth. Its no picnic in there. (Steps closer to the panel) Id be doing you a favour, Principal Scampi.
Chett: (In Scampis manner) No wait! You win! Ill leave Chetts body immediately!
Chett falls down with a flash, then looks startled as he regains his senses.
Chett: (Looks up) Booger-Boy? Pit-lick? Am I glad to see you!
Wyatt: Not to fast, Chett! How do we know youre not just Scampi bluffing?
Chett: Oh come on, its me! The guy who can (with effort) EDIT your report cards to straight As, (stands up) Capice?
Gary: (To Wyatt) He said the C-word! Its gotta be Chett!
Chett: Of course its me! (Moves closer) Look, thanks a lot for all the help with Dr. Willard and all.
Wyatt: Dr. Willard? Chett never got his name right! Youre still Scampi!!
Chett: (In Scampis manner) Nuts!
Chett suddenly reaches to grab Wyatt with the Phantom Glove. Wyatt jumps out of the way, as Gary drops down to the floor and hits the panel with his fist, opening the Containment Unit. A whirlwind sparks in the air as it funnels into the unit, pulling on Chett.
Chett: (Scampis voice comes out) Nooooo!!!!
Guardian Scampi gets sucked out of Chett and into the Supernatural Containment Unit. Immediately, Lisa zaps back in front of the boys.
Lisa: Nice work, guys! Thats what I call teamwork! But how were you convinced the S.C.U. wouldnt kill Scampi?
Wyatt: (Worried) What?! We thought you knew!!
Lisa quickly zaps the S.C.U., opening the cover which releases the transparent form of Guardian Scampi.
Scampi: (Humble) Thank you all for saving me from that dreadful situation; I really couldnt control myself in that form. (Starts to fade) I must head back to Farber, as I cant remain outside its halls for long. (Waves at them) Thanks again (Fades out)
Lisa: Thank goodness hes okay.
Chett: (Motionless on the floor) Hnnnggghh
Wyatt: Chett! (Runs to him and helps him up)
Chett: Wha..(regains his strength) what happened? Did did I win against Dr. Schiller? Oh man, I can never get his name right!
Gary: Thats alright, Chett. With everything weve gone through over the past 2 days, (looks at Lisa and Wyatt) we actually prefer hearing Dr. Schiller from that mouth of yours!
Cut to closing credits. Weird Science music starts as Chett is seen wearing a black tuxedo, dancing in the principals office. Holding his gloved-hand raised in the air, he starts singing.
Chett: (In Scampis manner. Singing to the tune of Nik-Nak-Patty-Wack)
How I love!
Dr.Willard got the shove,
With a nik-nak-patty-wack,
Living's really neat.
Genie magics just too sweet!
Chett stops and zaps up an audience of a dozen seated teachers, who immediately start to clap and cheer, giving him a standing ovation.
Chett: (In Scampis manner. Bashful) Oh, thank-you, thank-you!
The teachers continue cheering and begin tossing rose-petals in the air.
Chett: (In Scampis manner.) Oh, (with rose petals falling all around him) oh, youre all too kind!
Developed in Association With:
w w w . W e i r d S c i e n c e . N e t
©1999. Subject to all rights of St. Clare Entertainment, Universal Studios and USA Network in "Weird Science" and derivative works. No claim is made to the name "Weird Science," and to names and characterizations used in the series. One copy may be made for personal use from this website (that is, downloading it and reading it at one's leisure. That copy may not be retransmitted to other persons or sites. This story may not be copied in whole or in part for commercial use or for posting on newsgroups and websites. Nor may it be archived without the author's and/or WeirdScience.Net!'s consent, and especially not sold in any way, shape or form without express written permission.