Weird Science: Fanfiction
Season 6, Episode 10:
"When Mythlogy Attacks"
"You make man…"
Gary and Wyatt look at each other as the Weird Science song starts, showing the following scenes (note- 'S6!' means a new scene from season 6):
-The keyboard 'Enter' button is pressed
-Weird Science logo
-Lightning strikes the house
-View of Lisa, moving up
-Gary and Wyatt travel through the dream gate
-Bazooka boys forming
-Gary's poet within is zapped out right next to him
-With Lisa, Gary, and Wyatt in the background, Chett does the disco dance of innocence and his arm flies off
-Lisa blows magic kiss to Wyatt
Michael Manasseri clips
-Old West Wyatt gets pulled through the time warp
-(S6!) Falls down into an island lagoon
-Turns into nightmare id monster
-Head gets pulled off
-(S6!) In pajamas, with wet hair, gets zapped by Lisa into day clothes and dry hair
John Mallory Asher clips
-(S6!) Swings a frustrated fist in a black and white scene
-(S6!) About to bite an apple as it gets zapped into a remote control
-Lisa's finger touches his head, zapping him a super large brain
-Beams down inside Farber High with Tetrahydrozaline
Lee Tergeson clips
-Playing the piano on Groundhog Day
-Buccaneer hat placed on his head zaps him into the Pirate King
-Fighting Principal Scampi as the room flashes with yellow electricity
-(S6!) As suited Principal, gets face slapped
-Jumps down from ceiling as secret agent wearing black outfit
Vanessa Angel clips
-(S6!) Wearing a Scooby Doo T-shirt on a tropical island, zaps up a compass in her hand
-Carefully enters a dark cave, carrying a 'light saber' glowing stick
-Tiger on grave morphs into Lisa wearing a tiger-print dress
-Wearing glasses and suit disguised as a school teacher
-Large grinning close-up
- Gary and Wyatt in tuxedoes rocket up wearing jetpacks - Lisa, Gary, Wyatt, and Chett are all wearing earphones, singing around a microphone - (S6!) Lisa with her arms around Gary and Wyatt, zaps them and all 3 disappear - Black & white Dr. Frankenstein "She's alive! Alive!"
Screen fades in to show the Farber High School sign outside the school, and then moves inside to Chett's office as he surveys in satisfaction.
WHEN MYTHOLOGY ATTACKS
Chett: (leaning back, feet on his desk,hands clasped behind his head) Man, who'd've ever thought I'd get paid to be here? Sweet!
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.
Chett: (straightening immediately) Uh, come in?
A small, petrified-looking kid came in, handed Chett a note, then sat down.
Chett: (smirking at him) What'd you do? (looks at the note and starts laughing) You did that? (throws back his head and laughs until tears are streaming down his face) Woo. (brushes the laughter-tears away) I did that once... got suspended for a week. (looks at him critically) What do you want for your punnishment?
Kid: (hopefully) Clean out the girl's locker-room for a month?
Chett: Eh, why not?
Scene fades out slowly and fades in to show the outside view of the Donnelly residence then moves inside to show Chett walking in, sitting his briefcase down, followed by Gosalyn running over and bouncing into his arms.
Gosalyn: (hugging him tightly) Oh, Chett! I missed you! Did I tell you how much I love my big-brother?
Chett: (warily) What do you want, Gos?
Gosalyn: (pretending hurt) Chett---
Gosalyn: Well... I do love you...
Chett: I know. I love you, too. Now, what is it?
Gosalyn: Um, can I have a puppy? Wyatt said it was up to you!
Chett: (annoyed) Wyatt!
Wyatt: (from upstairs) What?
Chett: Get down here now!
Wyatt: (coming down) What's wrong?
Chett: (sitting Gosalyn down) Don't make me the bad guy all the time!
Wyatt: (confused) Huh?
Chett: (speaking in a "quoting - whiny" type of voice) "It's all up to Chett if we get a dog?"
Wyatt: Well, technically, you are in charge.
Nanny: (comes in and grabs her purse) Au revoir. I go for the weekend.
Chett: (distractedly) Okay... bye.
Wyatt: See ya monday.
Chett: Well... okay!
Gosalyn: (happily) Okay?
Chett: Yeah... we'll get a dog.
Flash to a couple of hours later, where Chett and Wyatt are fighting about what kind of dog to get.
Chett: A pitt bull!
Wyatt: Are you insane? No!
Chett: Why not?
Wyatt: Don't you think it'd be a dangerous type of dog for a little girl?
Chett: No! Gos needs a macho dog, not some frou-frou girly thing!
Wyatt: Girls don't like macho dogs!
Suddenly, Lisa pops in, unnoticed by all three.
Lisa: (comes up behind Gosalyn and ruffles her hair) Hey, kid.
Gosalyn: Lisa! Am I glad to see you!
Gosalyn nods and gestures towards her brothers, who are still fighting, obvilious to all else.
Lisa: What's going on?
Gosalyn: They are trying to decide what kind of puppy I should have.
Chett & Wyatt stop abrubtly and stare at her in shock.
Wyatt: (points at Chett) Tell him we can't get a pitt-bull!
Chett: And, tell him, we can't get a sissy-mary dog!
They resume arguing.
Lisa: That's it!
They all look in shock as she zaps up Cyrubus, the 3-headed hound of Hades!
Wyatt: Lisa, what have you done?
Screen fades out slowly for the episode's first commercial break.
Fades back in slowly as Chett yanks up Gosalyn. They all back up slowly. To their surprise, Head # 1 is a pitt-bull, Head # 2 is a greyhound, and Head # 3 is a english bulldog.
Head 1: (Glibert Godfried) Oh, what? You're scared? Yeah well, you should be! For, we are Cyrubus, the hound of Hades!
Chett: This is the great Cyrubus? (nudges Wyatt) Kinda funny, huh?
Head 3: (Joe Peci) I'm funny?
Head 3: Funny how? Am I some clown here to amuse you? Is that what you're sayin'?
Head 2: (David Hyde-Pierce) Oh, put a sock in it, 3! You, too, 1! (clicks his tongue) Dreadfully sorry about them. Completely uncooth, both of them!
Wyatt: Uh... no problem.
Head 2: Now, if you'll just send us back home...
Lisa: Sorry, no can do.
Lisa: Well... my magic kinda has to wear off. I was trying to teach you two a lesson---
Chett: Fine, fine. Lesson learned. Now, zap them home!
Lisa: I can't. As I was saying, they can't go home until you've learned the lesson.I'm not the one who has to be satisifed you learned it, the magic is.
Gosalyn: (scared) What's going on?
Chett: Nice goin'! In front of the kid!
Wyatt: Don't worry; (points to her head) no problem.
Chett: Oh... right. Okay. Gosalyn, Lisa's a genie.
Gosalyn: Like Barbara Eden?
Wyatt: Sorta, but no bottle or costume.
Lisa: Besides, my magic isn't always quite as reliable.
Wyatt: Ya know what... let's go get something to eat.
Head 1: Let me think about that... Uh, no!
Head 2: Well... we must guard something... if not the gates of Hades, then you!
Chett: I will not be a prisoner in my own house!
He tries to walk to the door, only to be blocked by Cyrubus, all 3 heads growling and foaming at the mouth.
Chett: (clutches Gosalyn tighter) Okay... fine. You guys guard that door, and we'll just go upstairs.
They back slowly upstairs to Wyatt's room and shut the door.
Wyatt: Now what?
Head 1: (from downstairs) Hello? I'm hungry here! If you don't feed us soon...
Chett: Look, this was your brilliant idea; you feed it.
Wyatt: Just zap 'em somethin'.
Lisa sends a blue-volt downstairs,putting 3 bowls in front of them.
Chett: Okay... you were right, Wy. Pitt bulls are annoying.
Head 2: (from downstairs) You call this food? What kind of hosts are you?
Wyatt: Well... you were right, too... greyhounds aren't so great, either.
Head 3: Hey, something to drink down here!
Lisa sends another blue volt downstairs.
Gosalyn: Wait... they agreed with each-other. Wasn't that the lesson?
Lisa: Nah, it's something they have to figure out on their own.
Wyatt: (looking at Chett) We're gonna be here a while!
Lisa: Gosalyn and myself, sure. But I can’t magic you 2 out, while the spell is intact. Only way is to walk out the door, and triple-ugly downstairs doesn’t seem too keen on it.
Chett: (Defiant) Oh yeah? We’ll just see about that…
Scene fades out to black slowly.
The 'Weird Science' theme music starts as they begin their escape attempt. Wyatt takes his can of pens from his desk and turns it upside down, emptying out all the accessories. Then he starts writing some letters on the outside surface. Chett grabs some string, opens the bedroom door, and motions to Wyatt. Lisa shakes her head in doubt as Wyatt and Chett run out into the hallway. Chett kneels at the top of the staircase and drops something over the edge.
Cut to a closeup shot of the can, as it is slowly lowered down through the air, attached to the string. The word ‘Gourmet’ has been written on it, and as it slowly rotates (while being lowered) the other letters ‘A-L-P-O’ come into view.
Cyrubus notices the can on the ground floor, and soon the 3 heads are fighting over the ‘Gourmet Alpo’. Chett sees them distracted from above, smiles to Wyatt, and they sneak unnoticed down the stairs to the door. Just then, Chett’s feet get tangled in the string, and he trips both himself and Wyatt. Cyrubus notices and runs at them, as the frightened Chett and Wyatt scramble to their feet and run up the stairs for dear life! The ‘Gourmet Alpo’ can bounces up the stairs, one by one, still attached and being pulled by the other end of the string.
With the music still playing in the background, cut to the doorbell ring and the front door open before Cyrubus to reveal Lisa standing in a white and yellow ‘picnic’ dress, a sky-blue feminine hat, and dainty white gloves. Dressed as the Avon lady, Lisa takes out a fancy bottle of moisturizing cream, much to the pleasure of head #2, then points her white-gloved finger up to the second floor then all the way down the staircase, implying her request to get the ‘men of the house’ down for the sample. All 3 heads growl at her, unfooled by her plan, and she’s about to leave when head #2 suddenly barks. Lisa turns around, stares at him with a trying look on her face, then puts the sample bottle down on the floor for him and leaves.
Cut back to Wyatt’s room as they continue their escape attempts. Wyatt opens his window and looks down 2 stories to the ground outside, but Chett pulls him away and gives him an angry ‘parental’ look. Chett then turns back to the open window and ponders on a plan. With the WS music still playing, an outside shot of the open window shows Chett completely stick his head out, then begin screaming outside for help.
Cut back inside the room with the WS music now over, signifying the end of the escape attempts. Chett’s hair is messed and his face is all red from the screaming, as he is catching his breath.
Chett: (Huffing a little. Looks out the window) What a day for the Pattersons to take a vacation! (Turns to Lisa) That's it! I give up! There is no lesson!
Scene fades out to black slowly.
Wyatt: There has to be... otherwise she could zap them home! (suddenly, something dawns on him) Where's Gosalyn?
Flash to downstairs, where Cyrubus is giving Gosalyn a ride on their (Cyrubus's) back.
Scene fades out for the second commercial break...
Head 1: (sarcastically) Oh, yeah... this is much more prestegious than guarding the gates of eternity!
Head 2: Well... at least she's lighter than Charon.
Head 3: Eh.
Wyatt & Chett rush downstairs and look at her in startled shock.
Wyatt: Oh, no!
Chett: Easy... Uh, Gos?
Gosalyn: Hey, guys. (waves)
Chett: Uh... c'mere, okay?
Head 3: Sorry, the girl stays with us until you do whatever you're supposed to.
Wyatt: Now wait a minute...
Head 2: That's all there is to it; we want to go home!
Head 1: And, if you don't send us back soon... we'll eat her!
Chett takes Wyatt aside and starts whispering something to him. Wyatt looks at him in horror, and starts shaking his head furiously. Chett nods and starts pushing him in the direction of Cyrubus and Gosalyn.
Chett: 1... 2... 3... Now!
They both rushed the creature from different directions. Chett grabbed all 3 necks while Wyatt scooped Gosalyn off his back and rushed out of reach with her. Unfortuantely, Chett is now pinned under the monsterous paws!
Head 2: We warned you not to cross us... You're in trouble now, bucko!
Gosalyn: Leave my brother alone!
Wyatt: Yeah, let him go!
Head 3: Nah... we ain't got a decent meal since we showed up in this dump.
Chett: Uh, Wyatt? Anytime now...
Lisa: (popping in) Hey! I heard that!
Chett breathes a sigh of relief.
Head 1: (sniffing Chett's ear) I always liked hollow meals...
Chett: Uh... wait a minute!
Head 2: (impatiently) Now what?
Chett: I... I'm sorry, Wyatt.
Chett: Yeah... I just want you and Gos to know that I loved you...
Wyatt: (touched) We love you, too, Chett. And... I'm sorry, too.
Suddenly, Cyrubus disappears! Gosalyn and Wyatt rush to a shaking Chett.
Lisa: You did it! You broke the spell!
Chett: What'd we do?
Lisa: You apologized and said, "I love you", duh!
Chett: (annoyed) What kind of a lame-oid spell is that?
Lisa: Excuse me?
Wyatt: (warningly) Chett...
Scene fades out for the episode's third commercial break...
Chett: Why didn't you just tell us? Save us the trouble? I was nearly eaten!
Lisa: (reasonably) You had to really make-up, not just pretend! If I told you, you'd've faked it.
Wyatt: She has a point.
Chett: You WOULD think that. Now, look, you're our genie, so... I demand that you treat us with respect!
Lisa: (eyes narrowing) "Demand"?
Chett: That's right! DEMAND!
Smirking, Lisa zaps Chett, turning him into a leprechan.
Lisa: You were saying?
Chett: (stomping about in an absurd fashion) Lisa... change me back! I... I'm sorry? (whining) C'mon, Lisa
Fades out slowly as the closing credits begin with the 'Weird Science' theme playing showing some special shots from this episode in the background.
Developed in Association With:
w w w . W e i r d S c i e n c e . N e t
©1999. Subject to all rights of St. Clare Entertainment, Universal Studios and USA Network in "Weird Science" and derivative works. No claim is made to the name "Weird Science," and to names and characterizations used in the series. One copy may be made for personal use from this website (that is, downloading it and reading it at one's leisure. That copy may not be retransmitted to other persons or sites. This story may not be copied in whole or in part for commercial use or for posting on newsgroups and websites. Nor may it be archived without the author's and/or WeirdScience.Net!'s consent, and especially not sold in any way, shape or form without express written permission.